Why So Angry?

Even though the number of posts I have made on this blog is not as horrendously low as it feels like to me (in no small part because I have had little concept of time since being laid off last month), it is a truth that I have published far fewer posts (7) in the time it has been up (26 days) than I had intended.

This is not for lack of trying mind you. I spend time most days thinking about the next post I am going to write, but when it comes time to write I almost always find that either the conditions I like to write in are lacking (I like to be completely alone to write) or I just feel mentally exhausted (which is most of the time these days).

But even my life conspiring against me is not the whole story when it comes to my lack of output. I have more half finished posts and abandon ideas for posts than published ones. And the big reason why I keep giving up on ideas is that I keep finding myself writing in a very angry tone that I do not like. Its bad when I take something that should have been innocent and make it confrontational, but its down right horrible when I take a topic that probably would have rubbed some of my friends the wrong way to begin with and turn it in to a big FU to those friends (emphasis on the word friends, I'm not even talking about pissing off some anonymous jerk, I'm talking about writing things that friends of mine would find offensive).

Furthermore, my wife has pointed out that both on here and on another, now abandoned, blog that I had that tone in published posts and didn't even notice it.

I don't know why my writing often becomes so angry. To be sure, I am suffering from depression right now (more than usual that is), and that can manifest itself in the form of anger, but I don't find myself getting angry a whole lot in my day to day life.

Am I just blind to it in my daily life? Is it something about writing that makes this anger boil to the surface? I don't know, but I need to figure it out because not writing is taking away an outlet that I really need right now.

Cheers.

10 Compliments I Might Not Be Able to Accept

So today I ran across an article about 10 compliments a wife should be giving her husband (found here). While I don't disagree with any of the items listed in the article as general advice, they don't all stack up so well for me.


#1. I'm so glad I married you.

I completely agree that this is an important thing for a husband to hear. But reading it written like that made me realize how important one's choice of words can be. Margaret says this to me all the time, but she usually phrases it in a manner to "I'm so lucky to have you.".

While I don't doubt that her intent is the same as "I'm so glad I married you." what I end up hearing is "My self esteem is so low that I don't think I'm worthy of you." And the problem with that statement is that it takes the focus off the person being complimented, and puts it on the person speaking; that is to say that rather than appreciate the compliment I find myself defending my wife from herself.



#2. I love how you provide for this family.

I can't take Margaret seriously when she says this; I have repeatedly failed at being a provider.



#3. I'm so proud of you.

This is another one that is hard for me to graciously accept because I don't know what she would be proud of.



#4. You're such a great daddy.

Margaret has said this many times. I think I have done some things very well, and other not so well. I think I would be more accepting of it if it weren't phrased as a superlative. I could accept "You're a decent father." 




#5. You're so hot.

I have put Margaret in a very difficult situation with this one. On the one hand I feel like she is lying when she says it, but on the other hand I get depressed when she goes a long time without saying it.

I cannot take my wife seriously when she says this because I know it to be untrue. However, I don't tend to argue with her when she says such things because she doesn't believe me when I tell her she is hot. Of course, I am right and she is wrong, and that makes all the difference.



#6 Thanks for fixing the broken dryer.

I am quite certain I will never hear those exact words. I grew up without a father, and my mother did everything in her power to make me fear tools. As a result I have little experience or skill in fixing anything that might be considered handyman type stuff. Now "Thanks for fixing the computer." is something I like to hear. 



#7. Thanks for the help around the house.

I don't like this because its phrasing implies that the house is the woman's job and a man should be thanked for giving her hand some times. I do appreciate thanks when for whatever reason I may be doing more than my share of the work, but that isn't "help" its just keeping the house going.



#8. You can always make me laugh.

If Margaret ever said that I would know she ways lying; my idea of a joke is to make a pun. The author of article does suggest that "Even if your husband isn't the ha-ha funny type, you can still compliment his stellar smile." If Margaret ever complimented my smile I would suggest she needs new glasses.



#9. You're so strong.

I don't think I have ever seen a healthy adult male with scrawnier arms than mine. If Margaret ever said this to me I would suspect she was mocking me.



#10. I love spending time with you.

This is important to both hear and to witness. 

12 Things I Want For D&D Next

To be honest I haven't been paying a whole lot of attention to the development process for D&D Next, so a lot of what I am going to say in this article might already be known to be true or false. Moreover, there are items on this list that I know have virtually no chance of coming true. Still, this is what I would like to see in the new edition of D&D due out this year.


1. That it won't be called D&D Next.
Considering Wizards has been calling it D&D Next pretty much since day one, I think this is a huge long shot. But even if its unlikely to change, I think it is absurd to break the naming convention that has been in place since 2nd Edition was announced almost 25 years ago. I suspect this name was dreamed up by a marketing genius who imagined that this cool hip name would help lure in new players, but I assure you, that this edition's ability to attract new players will have nothing to do with that name; all the name does is create confusion.


2. That it won't be released until it is ready.
As of this writing there is no announced release date for D&D Next; that is a good thing. It seems pretty obvious that 4th Edition was pretty much rushed out the door. Hopefully Wizards has learned their lesson, and will take as long as is needed to make this the best edition it can be.


3. That there will be a return of the two version strategy.
In the late 1970s Gary Gygax realized that Dungeons and Dragons had gotten too complicated for (most) new players to be able to just pick up the book and play. So in addition to releasing Advanced Dungeons and Dragons, there was also created a simpler version of the game for new players (often referred to as Basic Dungeons and Dragons). After Gygax was forced out of the company, it was decided that having two different versions of the game was confusing to consumers, and so the basic game was  dropped. The thing is, the basic game played a major role in attracting new players in the 1980s. The game needs fresh blood and it is more complicated than ever, so having a full fledged game system for new players to learn on would be great.

(I don't consider having a beginners box as Wizards has done to be a good fulfillment of this because they charge a new player $50 for a product that can be used once or twice and then expect the player to immediately buy the core rule books (for $120) and start playing the full game. The introduction needs to be much longer and much cheaper)



4. That there will be a return of the Monstrous Compendium. 
The 2nd Edition did a lot of things right, but by far one of the best was the Monstrous Compendium. By printing the monsters on loose sheets it allowed DMs to have all their monsters in one place. But far more importantly, by forcing each monster to take up at least a double sided page (at first) it forced the creators to give more information about each monster (thus giving it more flavour) than they would have otherwise. The only things I would change about the original Monstrous Compendium would be print the entries on stronger paper, strictly enforce one monster per page, and rather than sell it in a (cheap) binder, instead pack in decals so any binder could be turned into a Monstrous Compendium.


5. That there will be a return to mathematical elegance. 
One of my favorite thing about the progression of editions in D&D used to be that with each edition the game had fewer nonsensical charts, and more simple mathematical formulas. This pattern was broken with 4th edition, but it should be brought back.


6. That there will be a full suite of apps ready for launch day.
The thing about rpgs is that they get more complex over time. If an app like a character builder is not ready when the game is, the developers run the risk of getting further and further behind as updates add more and more material they need to include.


7.  Sort out the huge mess of legal rights surrounding Living Greyhawk.
As D&D worlds go, I am a huge fan of Greyhawk, and the 2000 or so adventures created for Living Greyhawk include some real favorites of mine. The problem is that the rights for the adventures themselves have reverted to the authors, but the authors have no right to include anything about Greyhawk (which all the adventures are about). Wizards should grant any authors who wish it limited use of the Greyhawk intellectual property so long as the adventures are sold through Wizards. It would be beyond awesome to see a few hundred Living Greyhawk adventures, updated to D&D Next, be available for download (for maybe a buck or two).


8. Make sure D&D Next can play well as low fantasy.
I am a huge fan of low fantasy, and the fact that 4th edition did not play well if your world was not flooded with magic items was probably my biggest complaint about it. I don't care if the game also plays well as high fantasy, but I absolutely need it to play low fantasy.


9. Put the dragons back in Dungeons and Dragons.
In Dragon magazine in the months before the release of 2nd Edition, it was written that one of the goals of 2nd Edition was to "put the dragon back in Dungeons and Dragons" by which it was meant that dragons were getting a huge power upgrade because the designers of 2nd Edition thought they were too weak. While I think a good case can be made that dragons were too weak in 1st Edition, their being weak allowed me to throw them in to adventures of almost any level. My players in the 1980s probably never went 3 straight adventures without seeing a dragon. Since the release of 2nd Edition I might be able to squeeze in a dragon encounter when they hit 5th level, but dragons are uber powerful, and as such aren't a go to monster any more. Give me back the dragons I can use every week - that would make the game live up to its name. (I don't consider any dragon so young it should have a mother around to count in the scheme of give me a weak dragon to throw at my players)


10. Make the game more dangerous.
With each new edition the game has coddled players a little bit more, and made the life of a player character a little bit easier. Even as late as 2nd Edition I thought the game was a little bit more dangerous than I wanted it to be for players. For me 3rd was pretty much perfect in this regard, with PC deaths being rare, but the threat of them seeming very real.


11. Make the PHB more than just a rule book.
What appears in the core rule books, does a great deal to set the tone for a game. A PHB that is nothing but a rulebook, sets a tone for a game that is nothing but a strategy game. I love strategy games, but that's not what I play D&D for. The PHB needs to have stories and information about the world. And it needs to talk about roleplaying. It also wouldn't hurt to have a section explaining how to play the game.


12. Have a good index.
When you have a 300 page rulebook, you need a really good index. Wizards has given mixed results on this in the past. D&D Next needs to hit this one out of the park.




Obviously I haven't touched on any rules with this list, but that is just how I am; there is no rule or race or class that I absolutely NEED to have in my game. That doesn't mean I don't have some preferences about those too, its just that if the game is well put together, there isn't anything I couldn't live without.

So You Think Its Colder Than Mars

So here we are in the midst of a winter where much of North America is experiencing colder than normal temperatures. And if there is one thing people love more than complaining about how cold winter is, its using hyperbole to express their opinion of how cold winter is.

With those two truths in mind, its seems every news organization in the world is taking a turn at comparing various cold cities to Mars; not surprisingly, a lot of these reports then get shared on social networks where its stated as "OMG its colder here than on Mars!"

Clearly the Discovery Science logo is shaped like a teardrop
because they endeavor to make scientists cry.

First of all, while the news reports usually mention that the temperature in question is the daily report from Curiosity, that is frequently lost when the stories go viral. Mars is a planet. Saying the temperature on Mars right now is x, is a lot like saying the temperature right now on Earth is x, except worse. Because of the thin atmosphere on Mars it experiences a greater of temperature variance than Earth; the temperature variance on Earth is about 145 degrees Celsius, while on Mars its about 175 degrees Celsius.

While the average temperature on Mars is about -63 C compared to +15 C on Earth, there is a lot of overlap in those two ranges; in the Martian summer it can get as hot as +35 C. Remember, many astronomers place Mars in the habitable zone of our solar system.

Dark green is definitely habitable,
light green may be habitable.

Second of all, before you can place any weight on weather reports coming from Curiosity you need to understand where it is on Mars. Curiosity is in the Gale crater, which is located at 4.6°S and 137.4°E; Curiosity is in the tropics of Mars. Now, admittedly it is almost the start winter for the southern hemisphere of Mars, but, just like Earth, areas near the equator are less impacted by the change in seasons.

Third, its important to note that what's almost always being compared is the daily high at the Gale crater to the daily low at whatever city is the latest victim. That's hardly fair as it isn't comparing like to like. The daily lows at the Gale crater in the past week have ranged from -84 C to -125 C (aka from colder than anywhere on earth to much colder than it has ever been on earth).

So, its awesome that people are paying attention to Mars and that someone is actually looking at the Curiosity weather reports (you can see them here ). But bragging (or complaining) that your city got colder than Mars is absurd unless you live somewhere that has really mild winters. And if you live somewhere that has really mild winters, complaining about how cold your winter is this year is just asking for a Canadian to come kick your ass.