 |
| Have you ever found a public domain picture, only to wonder who is in it, and how they feel about the whole world having permission to use it? |
The first four birthdays I celebrated as a member of Facebook (2009-2012) I had my birthday set to hidden. This was a purposeful choice based off of privacy fears; that is to say you can have your identity stolen by a person who has nothing more than your name and birthday.
But although I felt like I was taking a stand on privacy, it seemed that no else I knew, including many very intelligent people, were similarly blocking their birthday. Every year I would watch friends get scores of birthday wishes, but then I would get just one from my wife and a couple more from people who saw my wife's post. Even though it was an absurd thought to have, it made me feel pretty worthless to seem to have only one person in the world who cared that it was my birthday.
Reluctantly, for my 2013 birthday, I decided to make my birthday public during March. I got a lot of birthday wishes on the big day, and for that day I felt really great; that day was one of the best things about an otherwise bad year.
But when the day was over I realized something, that now I would be socially obligated (or at least I would feel socially obligated) to send birthday greetings to others when their birthdays came up. In all the years I was hiding my birthday I didn't feel bad at all that I almost never wished anyone else a happy birthday; I might wish three or four people a year happy birthday and that would be it, and I quite liked it that way.
Unfortunately, old habits die hard, and I quickly fell back into my old ways of not posting birthday wishes to other people. So I decided that for 2014 I would go back to keeping my birthday private, lest I be an even worse person for not wishing others happy birthday.
Strangely, I don't feel so lonely this year, and I am actually quite happy that no one except Margaret wished me a happy birthday (also, please note I just said I am happy that no one wished me a happy birthday before you get any ideas about wishing a belated one).
Actually, in many ways I wish my birthday had passed by completely unobserved; its not that I dread getting older, its just that feel little need to celebrate it.
But although I felt like I was taking a stand on privacy, it seemed that no else I knew, including many very intelligent people, were similarly blocking their birthday. Every year I would watch friends get scores of birthday wishes, but then I would get just one from my wife and a couple more from people who saw my wife's post. Even though it was an absurd thought to have, it made me feel pretty worthless to seem to have only one person in the world who cared that it was my birthday.
Reluctantly, for my 2013 birthday, I decided to make my birthday public during March. I got a lot of birthday wishes on the big day, and for that day I felt really great; that day was one of the best things about an otherwise bad year.
But when the day was over I realized something, that now I would be socially obligated (or at least I would feel socially obligated) to send birthday greetings to others when their birthdays came up. In all the years I was hiding my birthday I didn't feel bad at all that I almost never wished anyone else a happy birthday; I might wish three or four people a year happy birthday and that would be it, and I quite liked it that way.
Unfortunately, old habits die hard, and I quickly fell back into my old ways of not posting birthday wishes to other people. So I decided that for 2014 I would go back to keeping my birthday private, lest I be an even worse person for not wishing others happy birthday.
Strangely, I don't feel so lonely this year, and I am actually quite happy that no one except Margaret wished me a happy birthday (also, please note I just said I am happy that no one wished me a happy birthday before you get any ideas about wishing a belated one).
Actually, in many ways I wish my birthday had passed by completely unobserved; its not that I dread getting older, its just that feel little need to celebrate it.
No comments:
Post a Comment